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I kept with my plans to gain control of the Wolfsbane venture this week. Last Wednesday I made a trip to see Nate again. He had a price, just as they all do.
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I only catch the end Remus' conversation with Nymphadora as I close the door to their home. Before arriving at the aparition point, one glance back toward the Lupin home and feel a coldness creeping into my heart.
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The old saying goes, "You can never get enough of a good thing." I am of the opinion that too much of a good thing is always followed by an equal amout of bad things. The past few days have yielded much to my favor. I am almost convinced the Gods may be smiling on me.
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The days since my birthday have been a shifting haze of anxiety, fear and nausea. My usual contacts for this kind of information are either unwilling to assist me or have disappeared which has only heightened my sense of unease. There are just too many inexplicable events taking place, so much devastation and confusion in the wizarding world right now for me to take all of it in and feasibly plot a strategy.
Most of the week I have neglected my mental and physical regimens that have been a steadfast part of my life for years now. For that reason I blame myself for my pitiable condition. Today I forced myself to rise from my bed before the crack of dawn and attempt to find my center. It took nearly an hour of yoga to release the tension in my neck and allow my rational nature to penetrate the chaos in my thoughts. I was most anxious for that small sense of clarity to begin formulating my next steps, however I continued through all of my exercises emerging with focus and determination.
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I was met by several odd occurrences today. My trip to Gringotts was less than productive. I arrived promptly at 8:00am, ( Read more... )
If you thought my day was dreadful as well, go here to cast your agreement and review.
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My first steps into my flat greet me with the smell of stale air. "Hmpf," I say, thinking about the maid I had hired. No doubt she quit coming in after the second week of my absence. I knew I shouldn't have paid her two months in advance.
With a lazy wave of my wand the curtains draw open and the windows swing out, letting the brilliant sun in. A breeze rushes through, quickly purging my abode of it's aroma, and replacing it with the smell of Spring. I do hope this is an omen of the day to come. ( Read more... )
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Pansy has responded favorably to my gift, sending me an encouraging note and a pansy, symbolizing exactly what I had hoped. I cannot imagine how I might have reacted if she had not. Now that I have made up my mind, or more accurately, accepted as true what I should have known all along, I am quite determined. It would have been unbearable if she had rejected my gesture. Instead, her swift reply fills me with joy and anticipation.
Today, I focused entirely on moving forward in my campaign, but some disturbing news has unsettled me and left me unsure how to proceed. ( Read more... )
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After my invigorating experience on Saturday, I have moved on to stage two of my campaign. I also took the opportunity to reply to my mother. ( Read more... )
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A week of opportunities and precautions... the events of last weekend dictated that I take a number of actions. For the bulk of the week, I focused on the unpleasant side of things. My altercation with that 'artifact dealer' at Gringotts had inspired me to have a lengthy conversation with Karbog. I have determined to my own satisfaction that my goblin adviser had no idea what the individual had planned nor that he was part of a larger organization. After a series of meetings with Karbog and his bosses, I have decided to postpone my attempts to enter the antiquities trading business indefinitely.
The second major event ( Read more... )
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I saw her again today. We actually got along reasonably well. Sometimes I think that perhaps we can be friends at least. I miss talking to her so much. There is little that I would rather do than pass my days chatting with her, spending time with her, just being with her. The things I would rather do would involve being far more than friends.
I wallow in such thoughts, but then remind myself of who I am and who she is. I remind myself of Smith and try to stop thinking that somewhere out there, right now, she sits with him, touches him, perhaps kisses him. He’s certainly made sure to let me know that they are comfortable touching one another.
She still has my Valentine. I could tell that much. I suppose that implies that I still mean something to her. I wonder if I mean as much to her as she does to me. Sometimes, in the way she looks at me, I see it. I remember our dance and wonder whether there is not hope for us after all.
Enough.
The incident last night almost seems like a dream now, but I know that it portends dark circumstances to come. I will not make the same mistakes I made the last time.
I will not give up on her without a fight. Even it is only as friends, I will be in her life if she will have me, Smith be damned. If she tells me to go, I will, but until then, I will fight.
I am a Malfoy, and Malfoy’s always get what they deserve.
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I wake in a cold sweat, dark images fleeing from my mind before I can grasp them. At first, I feel I am in a dark stone chamber, but as my eyes adjust to the darkness, I realize I am in my flat. Then, I feel the burning. My arm is on fire. I pull the covers off and a red glow illuminates the room. The mark which usually is faded almost to nothing burns brightly on my arm. The pain grows and I writhe on the bed, unable to even reach out for my wand, let alone cast a spell to stop the agony. Then, just as suddenly as it began, it stops. My arm throbs, but the burning stops and the mark slowly fades again.
Something has happened.
Something very unfortunate.
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I dreamt of her again last night. It is the same every time. I am climbing a set of stairs, but they keep extending and shifting as the stairwells at Hogwarts do. At one point, I fall from one and plummet for awhile, before landing on another. I pick myself up and begin climbing again. I crawl up out of the darkness, the light growing ever brighter as I ascend. Finally, I reach a landing and she is there. The stairways extend behind her in all directions, but I cannot reach any of them without moving past her. She stares at me silently as I approach and then lifts her arms. Before I can discern her intent, I wake up. ( Read more... )
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I stopped in at Daphne’s shop this morning, but she was not there. I suppose she was working the other side of the store as she usually does. I hope that is the case and that she wasn’t avoiding me. ( Read more... )
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After a very productive week professionally, I was more than ready to cap it off with a pleasant dinner with a lovely young witch. My evening would symbolize my commitment to forget about my past, to move beyond my lost love for Pansy, and to stride confidently into the future. Friday afternoon, I made all the arrangements with the restaurant, stopped by Gringotts briefly to chat with Karbog about next week's agenda, and headed back to my flat. Even the sooty, dimly-lit walkways of Knockturn Alley could not darken my mood.( Read more... )
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Today has gotten off to an unusual start. Despite an uncomfortable moment in time, however, there were a couple of positive developments. I began my day as always at Daphne’s coffee shop, noting that it seems to be increasingly popular. ( Read more... )
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I face a conundrum. It is quite vexing and though I’ve thought of little else since last evening, I am no closer to a solution. But, I get ahead of myself.
( Last week was quite fruitful )
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I have replied to my mother. I know she expected a visit, but I do not feel I can leave England at this time, lest I be prevented from returning. ( Read more... )
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As I settle into my antique wingback chair with a good novel in hand, I take a moment to gaze at the flickering lights dancing in my windowpane: gold, silver, red, and green. Last year, I had missed the holiday completely, staying as I was in a land which did not recognize it. Though I've spent the day alone, at least I have done so in my homeland. No Christmas could ever be worse ( Than )
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